What Does Our Culture Believe Motherhood is Worth?
Motherhood is often spoken about in terms of what it costs a woman. What if we spoke more about its value — to women, children and society?
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Motherhood has always involved change, responsibility and sacrifice. But have we created a culture in which becoming a mother feels harder than ever – not only because of the practical pressures women and families face, but because of the way we speak about children, parenthood and success?
Rising housing costs, expensive childcare, inflexible working arrangements, and pressure on household budgets are real concerns. For someone facing an unexpected pregnancy, these pressures may make the future feel uncertain or overwhelming.
Women and families need practical support, affordable childcare, secure housing and workplaces that make parenthood possible.
But practical barriers may be only part of the picture.
The way we talk about motherhood and children matters, because it shapes not only whether people feel able to start or grow a family, but also how they respond when pregnancy arrives unexpectedly.
So, when record abortion figures are explained mainly through the cost of living, we should be willing to ask a deeper question: what does our culture believe children, motherhood and family life are worth?
Seeing motherhood through a wider lens
Supporting motherhood does not mean ignoring its challenges or limiting women’s ambitions.
But neither should motherhood be treated as an obstacle to a meaningful life – as though opportunity exists elsewhere and motherhood must be fitted around it.
Motherhood is itself an extraordinary opportunity: to love and nurture another human being and shape the values, security and future of the next generation.
What we miss
The work of parenthood is demanding, often unseen and too rarely valued. Yet its influence reaches far beyond one family. Mothers and fathers shape the values, security and character of the next generation.
Children require time, care and sacrifice. They also create relationships, strengthen families and bring meaning that cannot be measured economically.
When motherhood and children are spoken about mainly as a cost or disruption, something important is missing.
When children are seen mainly as a cost
Recent reporting on falling birth rates has explored concerns about housing, childcare, employment, global uncertainty and the affordability of raising children.
A recent BBC report included the experience of one mother who described the difficulty of affording all the activities her three children would like to do and questioned how the family would manage the additional costs of another child.
For many families, decisions about having more children are shaped by infertility, loss, difficult pregnancies or births, health concerns and other deeply personal circumstances – and involve far more than financial considerations.
What makes a good life?
Where financial and material concerns are part of the conversation, it is worth reflecting on how our idea of a good life, or a good childhood, has changed.
How do we weigh activities and material opportunities against the relationships and experiences a child or sibling may bring? What do we believe children truly need to flourish?
When children are discussed mainly in terms of what they cost, we hear far less about what they bring: relationships, meaning, the strengthening of family life, and the contribution parents and families make to society.
This raises another question. Has the conversation gradually shifted from “Can we provide what a child needs?” to “How would having a child change the life we hoped for?”
What does the culture say?
Wanting stability and hoping to give children the best possible start is understandable. Yet the expectation of having the right home, secure employment, sufficient income and an established career may also make parenthood feel increasingly out of reach.
Have any generations have entered parenthood with complete financial certainty?
Falling birth rates are not limited to countries with poor support for families. Similar patterns can be found in countries with generous family policies, suggesting that while economics clearly matters but it may not explain everything.
Culture matters too.
The way we talk about children, motherhood and family life shapes how people think about the future – what they hope for, what they worry about and what feels possible.
From family size to unexpected pregnancy
These cultural assumptions do not only affect decisions about starting or growing a family. They may also shape how society responds when pregnancy is unexpected or difficult.
If children are seen mainly through the lens of cost, financial pressure can begin to feel like an obvious reason for abortion. That can close down deeper questions – questions society might ask, but also those a woman or couple might ask themselves: What support is available? Could we adapt? Might there be another way forward?
Is the cost of living the whole story?
In 2023, 277,970 abortions took place in England and Wales – the highest number ever recorded and an increase of 11% in a single year.
Previous generations also raised families through periods of economic hardship. During the 1970s, Britain experienced high inflation, rising living costs, unemployment and considerable uncertainty. Abortion was legal, yet annual figures were far below those seen today.
The circumstances are not directly comparable, but the contrast raises an important question: if previous generations also experienced significant economic hardship when abortion was legal, what else has changed to make abortion so much more common today?
We should also ask whether a deeper cultural shift has made abortion a more accepted – and increasingly expected – response when pregnancy brings difficulty or disrupts the life we had planned.
Financial pressures are real. But when motherhood itself is seen as a barrier to opportunity, an unexpected pregnancy can feel like the end of one future rather than the beginning of another.
Has abortion shaped our response to difficulty?
At the same time, abortion has become increasingly normalised and easier to access. Abortion pills can now be obtained remotely and taken at home, removing many of the practical barriers and safeguards that previously existed.
This is widely presented as progress. But we should be willing to ask whether decades of legalised and increasingly accessible abortion have also shaped what society now considers a normal or reasonable response when pregnancy brings difficulty.
This is not about judging women who have had abortions. Many have faced fear, financial hardship, relationship pressure, housing insecurity or a lack of support – circumstances that call for compassion and meaningful help, not the assumption that abortion was inevitable.
Have we made abortion easier while leaving motherhood harder?
Easier access to abortion does not address the circumstances that may lead a woman to feel unable to continue her pregnancy.
It does not provide secure housing, make childcare affordable, protect a woman’s education or career, support her through relationship difficulties, or help her escape an abusive situation.
Those needs remain.
Yet practical help can be extremely difficult to find while abortion is increasingly accessible.
Making support possible
At Life, we believe women facing unexpected or difficult pregnancies deserve meaningful support. That may mean practical help, skilled listening, advocacy, safe housing, or simply time and space to talk openly without pressure.
Support should help a woman see beyond the immediate crisis and explore what might be possible – not assume that her circumstances make abortion inevitable.
The value of motherhood and fatherhood
If we want to see fewer abortions, we must do more to address the circumstances that lead women to feel abortion is their only option.
We need practical support that makes another way forward possible. We also need to value motherhood and fatherhood again – not as barriers to opportunity, but as roles that build strong families and shape the future.
At Life, we believe difficult circumstances deserve compassion, meaningful support and better answers than abortion.
Women should not be left feeling that their future and their child’s future cannot exist together.
Our work is rooted in the belief that they can – and in providing the support that helps make that future possible.
Join the conversation
How we speak about motherhood, fatherhood and family life shapes our culture.
If this article resonated with you, share it with someone else and help start more thoughtful conversations about the value of raising the next generation.
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